Tuesday, 31 May 2016

QUIZ: My Diary The Boss

On the 31st of May 1669, a 36 year old Samuel Pepys, citing failing eyesight, wrote his final entry in the famous diary that would make his name. And here is that historic section now, reproduced exclusively here at Punk Rock Pub Quiz:

Here are ten more diary entries, both real and by fictional characters, can you work out who is the author from the clues given in the sample? 

I know! I thought Anne Frank would be in there too! Click the images to make them a bit bigger if you need to. Answers are below...

Monday, 30 May 2016

Buy a Book, Thatcher!

Hello its Bank Holiday so you're clearly not there but if you were, did you know that the original Punk Rock Pub Quiz book that inspired this very website is now available as a 99p PDF eBook?

Over 100 all-new quizzes never used on this site on all things general knowledge with an eye on something for all the family. But for those of you who are at work feeling gypped out of a bit of lunchtime trivia fun, for the first (and last) time here's one of my favourite quizzes from the book to hopefully lure you into a purchase.

Its a great way to support the site and ensure more of this kind of thing, which I do entirely on my own for fun in my spare time. And now your answers...

Friday, 27 May 2016

QUIZ: He's Not. He Died On March 17th 1999.

Well, we started the week with a pop quiz so lets end with one. On May 26th 1933, United Artists and Walt Disney released the "Silly Symphony" cartoon "The Three Little Pigs" which gave the world the inescapable hit song "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" Its hard to believe that there was ever a time when musical staples like that were ever not a thing, as familiar and ubiquitous as "Happy Birthday", "Mary Had a Little Lamb" or "The Boiler".

Its also an incredibly easy question to answer, no matter what those damn porcine pricks suggest, EVERYONE should be afraid of of the big bad wolf. He's got two adjectives in his name and they're both distinctly unfriendly, plus this particular wolf developed the skill to walk on two feet, speak and wear pants. (Not to mention be a tad anti-Semitic.) If only every song title was so easy to answer... hmm, that gives me an idea...

Which song titles could the following statements be answering? 
The year of each record's original release has been added for an extra clue. 

1. Firstly, not my name. Secondly, be more specific. Radio Leeds for example is on 92.4 FM or 774 AM. (1994)

2. You're 44, Mark (although you were 27 when you first asked). (1999)

3. According to Google Maps, the third-largest city by population in California has a large freeway system so take Route 152 onto Route 101 for a more direct route. (1968)

4. It is Robyn Fenty, although you're better known by your middle name. (2010) 

5. Considering Christianity is one of the two most widely practiced religions in Africa, they probably do yes, Bob. (1984)

6. Personally, I hold little truck with the concept of real sorcery but do enjoy watching tricks. (1965)

7. Predominantly between November 1987 and July 1991. (1987) 

8. Depends if you live anywhere near my house, Lenbert old boy. (1993) 

9. Netdoctor.co.uk suggests it could be angina, an aortic aneurysm or pericarditis. (1999)

10. Because of the traffic and public decency laws, you silly Beatles. (1968)

Answers after I get these dogs back in. 

Thursday, 26 May 2016

QUIZ: The Postie At The Gates At Dawn

Right, well its been a super successful week here at the Punk Rock Pub Quiz site with lots of you enjoying the previous three days' quizzes. But now the pressures on, will I be able to produce a fourth golden egg to match those (figuratively, not anus) winning games? Maybe I should look at whats trending on Twitter and dive in on a real zeitgeist surfing moment....

Johnny Depp? Nah. Edexcelmaths? Ugh, god no. Monaco GP? That a foreign doctor based thing? Ah here we go...Pink Floyd are trending. Why? Oh, because they're being honoured with their own set of special commemorative Royal Mail stamps. *shrugs shoulders* Well, if that's what the kids are into...

Name the events, anniversaries or subjects of these ten special edition Royal Mail stamps from the 1960s to present day.

Answers below. I hope this quiz achieved your "stamp" of approval (joke).

And if you liked this quiz, please please share it. It means a lot and the last few days have shown, really helps get people seeing the site. Thank you!

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

QUIZ: Burt Kwouk There

Its been a weird, unsettling and occasionally shocking year for celebrity deaths. Indeed, despite my non-believer status, I'd love to think there's an afterlife like a party full of incongruous stars having a knees up with an all-star band of Bowie, Victoria Wood, Lemmy and Prince entertaining a clapping Ronnie Corbett, Alan Rickman, Paul Daniels and Terry Wogan. And as the centrepiece, the late, dearly missed Burt Kwouk appears in his "dog bed pants" singing "Hey Little Hen" to a standing ovation from the delighted millions. 

Of course, Burt played a myriad of beloved roles including, most famously, Cato in the Pink Panther films, plus Tenko and every oriental gentleman part David Yip wasn't offered in everything from Doctor Who to T-Bag, Space Precinct, The Avengers and Boon on British telly. But it was his role in the 1997-2000 Channel 4 "Harry Hill" shows, initially as a hapless chicken catcher, that cemented my love for him. Series two expanded his role and gave us the mini-sitcom "Harry And Burt At Home"... 

These four to five minute segments would frequently revolve around the two in their shared bunk bed bedroom coming up with ways for Harry to get on zeitgeist-riding sports comedy panel show "They Think Its All Over" and befriend comedian Rory McGrath. Later, in a twist of supreme irony, the final series for Channel 4 (who repeatedly delayed series 3 then completely buried it) featured Harry and Burt trying elaborate schemes to get the former one of those "big ITV cheques". The highlight, however, was the sudden cutaways to snippets of songs, featuring both dressed fully as whoever they were impersonating. Kwouk clearly looked baffled by some of it but was having a whale of a time and gave it a real lift with some fantastic comic timing. 

Here's Burt dressed up in ten of his funniest outfits. Can you work out who he is meant to be in each one? Answers below, after the parade...

And now the Badger Parade! Unless...PARADE'S OFF?! I'd better get down that grooming bay. Quick Burt, do one of your hit songs...

Its going to be bigger than Tenko! Rest in peace, Burt. Thank you for all the laughs.

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

QUIZ: My Beautiful Ratmobile

It'll come as a surprise to the few of you regular readers of this blog that, to keep things fresh, I like to base my quizzes around anniversaries or historical events of note and it was while researching today in history that I saw the following:

May 24th 1988 – Section 28 of the United Kingdom's Local Government Act 1988, a controversial amendment stating that a local authority cannot intentionally promote homosexuality, is enacted.

Even though I was young when it was first introduced, I still remember this ridiculous, insulting and offensive bill being brought to power, not least of all because of various comedy shows ridiculing it. Its a fascinating if depressing bit of recent British history and I urge you all to read up further on it so we are always ready to fight such old-dated unpleasantness if such thinking. I knew I had to do a powerful, thought-provoking quiz to mark the occasion....

...and then I noticed it was also the anniversary of Ray Alan's death. He was never off television with that sodding "posho" puppet Lord Charles when I was a kid but no matter how good a ventriloquist Alan was, he could never hide the fact he had a rubbish puppet. 

And so after a fabulously unnecessary and long-winded introduction, I figured "sod it" and threw both ideas together. The following are all screenshots from ten films voted amongst the 50 greatest pieces of LGBT cinema as voted for by a distinguished panel of experts for Time Out magazine. In the place of an actor however I have silkily and with great skill replaced them with a rubbish TV puppet of the past. If I hadn't told you, you'd never know, I swear. 

And so now, may I proudly present the Official Punk Rock Pub QuizTM round....


Point for the film, point for the puppets. If it helps, I meant well...

1. Kevin The Gerbil in My Beautiful Laundrette, Edd The Duck in Midnight Cowboy, 3. Pob in My Own Private Idaho, 4. Nobby The Sheep in Pride, 5. Badger (Bodger and Badger) in Priscilla Queen Of The Desert, 6. Dooby Duck in Heavenly Creatures, 7. Zippy in Milk, 8. Baby Sinclair (Dinosaurs) in Boys Don't Cry, 9. Orville in Dog Day Afternoon, 10. Rodge and Podge in Brokeback Mountain.

Monday, 23 May 2016

QUIZ: Never Mind The Artwork...

To set up today's quiz, I take you to this quote from the essential This Day In Music:

"May 23rd 1991, Photographer Michael Lavine took what would be the publicity shots for Nirvana's Nevermind album at Jay Aaron Studios in Los Angeles. The idea for the front cover shot of the baby swimming was taken after Kurt Cobain and Dave Grohl saw a TV documentary on water babies and was taken by Kirk Weddle. Several babies were used; five-month old Spencer Eldon's photo came out best."

This got me thinking what an iconic image it is, but likewise if I just typed "A baby in a pool looking at a dollar on a fishing line", people would know exactly what I was referring to, without needing an image.

Here's 12 other massive selling albums reduced to a simple description of the cover, how many can you get?

1. A glass prism disperses light into colour.

2. The Beverly Hills Hotel at dusk. 

3. A picture of a man with a large bundle of sticks on his back hanging on a tatty peeling wall.

4. Two men passing each other on Berwick Street in Soho.

5. Long haired bloke on a motorbike bursting out of the earth in a graveyard. 

6. A bum in some jeans in front of an American flag. 

7. The little feller is stood in front of the bigger feller with the curly hair.

8. A crudely drawn town being bombed from above as a monkey considers some feces. 

9. The artist just chilling in a white suit. 

10. Wet black garbage bag with the album title traced in the water.

11. A model of New York City made from cafe ingredients and a smiling waitress seen through an airplane window. 

12. A load of famous people stood behind a drum and some flowers. 

Answers below. 

SUPPORT THE SITE - MY NEW E-BOOK AVAILABLE HERE - JUST 99P! And if you like the quiz please share on Twitter, Facebook and them other ones. Thank you! 

"You should have seen the cover they wanted to do. It wasn't a glove, believe me!"

Friday, 20 May 2016

QUIZ: Don't Cut Me Down (Anthropophagous The Beast In Blue)

For someone like me who grew up in the 80's with the dawn of video recorders in many homes and a boom of tapes to play on it, there's always a real nostalgia when looking back, in particular to those days "pre-cert" when anyone could release anything without an official rating from the BBFC, the British Board of Film Censors who judged releases at that time solely for cinema viewing. Whilst being too young to truly appreciate it, there were plenty of news reports and references in comedy programmes to "Video nasties" which became the phrase to describe anything vaguely naughty on VHS.

It was this along with the problems films such as "Reservoir Dogs" had when I was just about going to video shops on my own (still far too young but nobody batted an eyelid at what I got out) and the controversy surrounding films like the rotten "Child's Play 3" that made me grow up assuming the film censors were just humourless gits who wanted to cut all the good bits out of films. In recent years however, the BBFC have made a complete shift towards openness and encouraging interaction with the public, with a fascinating podcast and a website featuring lots of archive reports on old movies. And its into those reports we dig today...

Which ten well-known films are being discussed here in genuine snippets from the real BBFC reports of the time? 

(Names of characters and the films themselves have been 'carefully' censored by me)





All images (bar the dodgy bloke) copyright BBFC

The answers are here:

 If you like this quiz, please share it!

Thursday, 19 May 2016

QUIZ: Looking Back On Today 1

Telly telly telly. We've all watched it, we've all erm...watched it some more. But can you work out these ten TV programmes that aired in the UK on this very day - 19th May - throughout the past when given their accompanying TV Times and Radio Times write ups?

Answers after this informative article on Boon at home and 37 adverts for sheds... 

And if you like this quiz, please share it! 

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

QUIZ: Comedy Books - My Part In Their Downfall

In 2014, I released a book devoted to my love of the TV comedy spin-off books that were frequent stocking fillers from the seventies to the nineties when audiences wanted to spend more time in the company of their favourite telly characters outside of the inevitable six episodes a year. No repeats or video releases? A comedy cash-in would tide you over whilst making a rather cheap and easy Christmas gift for that relative you remember laughing once in 1973.

Today, back in 2016, inspired by the latest Backlisted Podcast, I'm reissuing my "Comedy Cash-In Book Book" in a heavily expanded and revised form as an eBook exclusive for just 99p. You can go buy it here. And my other blog has some more information on what it all means here.

But that doesn't put quiz on the table, does it? So as a bit of crafty self-interest, here's a trivia teaser about books by comedians. Not these comedy cash-ins, autobiographies or lazy reworked stand-up routines crammed on paper but actual - gosh - NOVELS by comedy types! Some serious, some for kids, none by Rob Newman, tell me which funny person wrote the following books?

1. Stark (1989), Popcorn (1996), Inconceivable (1999)

2. Puckoon (1963), Badjelly the Witch (1973), The Looney: An Irish Fantasy (1987)

3. Getting Rid of Mister Kitchen (1996), SilverFin (2005), The Enemy (2009)

4. The Liar (1992), Making History (1996), The Stars' Tennis Balls (2000)

5. Shopgirl (2000), The Pleasure of My Company (2003), An Object of Beauty (2010)

6. Flight From Deathrow (2002), Tim the Tiny Horse (2006), The Further Adventures of the Queen Mum (2007)

7. Small Harry and the Toothache Pills (1982), Hemingway's Chair (1995), The Truth (2012)

8. The Boy in the Dress (2008), Mr Stink (2009), Gangsta Granny (2011)

9. A Tiny Bit Marvellous (2010), Oh Dear Silvia (2012), According to Yes (2015)

10. Mr Lonely (1981), The Reluctant Vampire (1982), The Vampire's Revenge (1983)

And while you're thinking about them, maybe buy a book

Answers after Rob Newman invents some oil.

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

QUIZ: Spitting Back The Years

Its that time of year, now that Spring is in the air.... when that one wet git looks back at a UK Top 40 and realises its thirty years today since "The Chicken Song" by Spitting Image first took its place at the top of the singles charts for a radio-bothering three week run.

In reality, "Spitting Image" was the brand but the song was actually performed by Phil Pope with his Radio Active / KYTV co-star Michael Fenton Stevens and Kate Robbins, whilst the lyrics came from the show's then head writers Rob Grant and Doug Naylor who were still 18 months away from getting the whole nation saying "Have a curry you smeghead" with their sitcom Red Dwarf.  A pastiche of Black Lace and the grim trend for "holiday hits", the song was a little ahead of summer time when it had debuted on the show weeks earlier but the recent series had ended 4th May 1986 and the single was in shops the day after, hanging on in the chart until August. It was somewhat ironically knocked off the top by Doctor and The Medics' equally grating novelty cover of "Spirit In The Sky".

The end of each Spitting Image episode would generally be given over to a comedy song or parody of then-current pop acts with few spared by Pope and the cast thanks to the eighties in particular being a rich seam for ridiculous musical turns to poke fun at. Today's quiz drags up 12 of those rubber pop lookalikes and asks "WHO THEY?" because its a quiz site and we do that sort of thing here. Did I say "latex lampoonery"yet? Puppet fun all round!

Answers before The South Bank Show later tonight. 

Monday, 16 May 2016

AUDIO: Punk Rock Pub Quiz Podcast 2

And the Europop (pop) makes me dizzy...

With it being just in time for Eurovision...to be over, what better opportunity than to share 2015's live Punk Rock Pub Quiz celebration of all things spangly, warbling and tactically voting for the bloody Ukraine even though we all judged it joint worst and whats with that bloody Poland vote grumble etc?

In this 45 minute full show, there's a salute to the great movie wars, fun with palindromes, Conchita Wurst's Bearded Ladies, a man with a box on his head (visual humour), the greatest rendition of Low Rider you'll ever hear, Johnny Logan's "Whats Another Year?" Game, a terrifying tribute to the Fizz and a special appearance by the late, great Sir Lord Wogan. Insert obvious joke about nil points. When's them butter churning women back on?

Or use this handy embedded player thing:

And yes, we should definitely lose that sax solo...

Friday, 13 May 2016

GUEST QUIZ: Everything's Gone Camberwick

Oi! You! Buy a book! Now back to the subtlety...

Its many a time I've posted links to my own very reasonably priced Punk Rock Pub Quiz tome on Lulu Press but its a pleasure when I can also share links to those of my very talented friends too.

Tim Worthington has written a number of books on all things pop cultural from comedy at Radio One to the key years at Creation Records and his new book "The Camberwick Green Preservation Society" is a collection of some of his best writings on subjects as diverse as The Monkees, Rubik's Cube, Battle Of The Planets, When The Stone Roses Were Good, Chris Morris' Blue Jam, the easy listening revival, Chigley, Jimi Hendrix and TV "Doctor Who", all in the styles of various different publications, from the Radio Times to our old pal Look-In - even teletext!

One particularly fascinating piece is all about the early appearances of the forever-to-be-missed David Bowie in his mostly pre-megastardom days who, contrary to popular belief, turned up EVERYWHERE vaguely pop, plus a fair amount of things that weren't. With that in mind, I've asked Tim Worthington himself to provide today's quiz on musicians cropping up in the unlikeliest of places. Seven are real, whilst three are fake.

And whilst you're thinking about them, BUY A BOOK!


Play Away and its parent show Play School were awash with presenters drawn from the huge seventies overspill of failed and failing rockers & folkies, but even so, few could have predicted that the former Van Der Graaf Generator frontman would end up regularly contributing satirical singalongs for the under-tens.

BILLY BRAGG on Mavis On 4

The Bard Of Barking was always up for an incongruous appearance or two, though even he must have felt it was a mistake to sing Must I Paint You A Picture to a chat show sofa full of guests and no audience, in the manner of an easier-on-the-ear crooner on a Sunday Morning politics show. To call what followed 'applause' would be stretching it.


Angry and political they may have been but Zack De La Rocha and the gang were shrewd operators who knew when to kick up a fuss and when not to. Miming to a 'clean' edit of Bombtrack and taking part in a Sarah Greene-supervised phone-in where they politely discussed prejudice with kids were the unlikely order of the day here.

THE HOUSEMARTINS on The Wide Awake Club

On the surface, they seemed like exactly the kind of jolly knockabout indie-popsters you would have invited on children's television. But they were a band with an agenda, and there must have been a few nervous conversations in the gallery when they opted to perform The People Who Grinned Themselves To Death, lyrics about The Queen carrying a broken bottle and all.

PETER ANDRE on The White Room

Desperate to prove his credentials as a 'real' musician, the reggae lite-favouring muscleman unexpectedly showed up on Channel 4's edgy muso-friendly Radcliffe And Whiley-fronted live show to perform a trio of Motown covers. Sadly not accompanied by Bubbler Ranx.


Deep into their spraypainted shirt UZI MORON TECHNO PARTY YOU ARE SLAVES OF BELGIAN HITLER era, Richey and The Gang were somehow persuaded to show up on the Nobby The Sheep-helmed ITV Saturday Morning show to plug the upcoming Generation Terrorists, miming to Slash'n'Burn in a classroom for some reason. Not as embarrassing as they later got.


TV-am's long-forgotten Saturday Morning effort promised Soaps, Puzzles, Laughter and Talent, some of which were occasionally provided in regular segment Charlie's Bus, which saw a bus full of kids pull up at a stop to meet - gasp! - pop stars. The Smiths and Sandie Shaw showed up one week to tell a tiny puzzled girl "we're going mad!!" and give an impromptu rendition of Jeane.

N.W.A on The Late Show

BBC2's highbrow arts review could hardly ignore the columnist-friendly controversy over Straight Outta Compton, and duly invited Cube, Dre, E, Ren and Yella along for a chat about race bias in the upcoming Presidential Election and a heavily-bleeped performance of Gangsta Gangsta as they struggled to fit on the tiny stage.


Not that unusual, you might think. But prog legends Jon Anderson and Vangelis Papathanassiou had studiously avoided plugging their wares on cheap and cheerful TV shows until they started making more pop-orientated stuff together. When I'll Find My Way Home found its way into the top ten, they turned up for a performance so boring, the producer stuck on a montage of photos of them looking at synthesisers in the middle.

THE FLAMING LIPS on Beverly Hills 90210

Chart Star Guest Stars were ten a penny on the now seemingly forgotten Saturday Evening-dominating escapades of Brandon, Brenda, Dylan, The Old One, Them Two That Looked The Same, Kryten Bloke etc, and with The Flaming Lips having recently become MTV favourites by accident, it was only logical that they should appear in a storyline where the rich brats went to see an 'alternative' band. Not the one where they took 'U4EA', no.

When you've cogitated, you can find the answers here...

Tim Worthington's "The Camberwick Green Preservation Society" is now available from Lulu Press in paperback and ebook, priced £5.99 and £2.99 respectively.